


One In The Same

by Spiorad



Category: Marvel
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/F, F/M, Just all the avengers ok, Lots of Cursing, Reader gonna like Bucky, Reader is Natasha's best friend, Reunion, Slow Build, Slow Romance, The one's that were in Civil War and stuff, Will add tags along the way, You like to curse in this, except Antman and Spiderman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-06-10 06:43:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6943975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiorad/pseuds/Spiorad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you finally decide it's time to go with S.H.E.I.L.D, how will the other's react? Will they despise you, or will they accept your personality, making you one of their own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is mostly about you winding up in the situation you're in. Also, you're kind of a hardass.

You placed your arms around your head as you pushed your back up, a pop echoing against the cold walls that confined you. You small smirk rested on your lips as you let your (e/c) eyes opened lightly. You were focused on the rain that beat outside your cell. You could hear the patter of the rain hitting the side of the building. "You're lucky, you got a cell that connects to the side of the building," you hear your neighbor groan. You could tell that he was apart of something terrifying, the way his veins practically popped out of his skin, his eyes dark. His head was bare, no hair to be seen, other than a thick beard that lay devouring his chin. You gave a slight scoff as you faced your head towards the noise, his cell was directly in front of yours. The cell was mostly in the middle of the room, the thick walls making it hard to hear the outside on most occasions. 

"Yeah, well it's not so fun when you can hear yelling almost constantly," you spoke back. It was dark in your cell, they kept some of the lights off in your section, part of your other 'neighbors' were extremely light sensitive. You didn't mind, they were alright, for being mutants. You have had troubles in the past with mutants, most of them would try to use their enhancements to do what they pleased with you. This only made you force the mutants into a part of your heart where only the blackest pigment resided. Sure, some were okay, but the others, they were a force to be reckoned with.

"At least you hear things from out there," the man hummed as you sat up off your metal cot, your legs swinging to move off the bed. You sat up, your body twisting to stand up. You moved forward, the patter of your bare feet against concrete echoing in the halls of the prison. You let your arms rest on of the metal rods that lied horizontal around the cage. You focused your attention on the man once more. He didn't know your name, you didn't know his, you called each other by what you were. "Hey, Soldier, you know how long you got in here?" He asked, you didn't know why he called you soldier, he just did. You never fought in any real wars, just some small battles. 

"No clue, Mutie," you answered. You were being truthful, you didn't know how long you have, or will be in the prison. He laughed at his nickname, it was halfhearted, more than a scoff, but less than a chuckle. He was a mutant, that much you could tell, there was just barely enough light to focus on him, his skin was a dark green, you could see a slight elongated ear poke behind his head. He was a different kind of mutant, one who couldn't control their powers, not yet anyways. 

You heard the pattering of boots against the concrete flooring, the echo making some of others cower at the edge of the cell. You gave a sly smile as four heavily armed soldiers stood in front of your cell, a man in a black suit giving you a smile. You could tell it was forced, he didn't want to be here anymore than he had to. "Are you ready, (Y/n)? He asked. You knew exactly what he meant, he wanted you to work with the Avengers, they said they could use your 'skills', they had asked you several times before. Each time you would turn them down, saying you liked it better in the dark. You slightly did want to go see them, you wanted to go see your best friend again. The urge to laugh and hug made you cringe, you didn't like showing real emotion, instead you would rather plaster a fake smug smile on your lips and pretend everything was fine and dandy. You gave a slight laugh, but you thought it over for a second. Did you really want to sit in the dark for the rest of your life, never able to feel the grass under your toes, or to see the night sky with stars that shine so bright that you were almost convinced it was the sun.

You came to a decision as you gave a slight 'yeah'. You could hear Mutie laugh, "God damn, I have to get another annoying neighbor." He groaned as you could just hardly see the smile that fell on his face. The man in the suit opened the metal door with a swift key card. The soldiers gripped you by the arms, pulling you through the opened door, latching some heavy cuffs on your wrists, they were defiantly snug against your skin, but you didn't much care. 

"I'll see you on the flip side, Mutie," you waved with both hands as you gave him a slight wink. It was kind of sad, seeing you leave him behind, but you knew he'd be fine. You were quickly escorted out of the building, the rain hitting your body once more, the feeling of the cold water gave you a slight discomfort as well as a relief. It meant you were out. You could hear the thunder overhead, it's booming dancing with the lighting that followed in pursuit. It was calming, to finally be able to hear the loud cackling of thunder once again, without the muffling of the concrete walls. You turned your head to your left to see a variety of soldiers, both men and woman running in the mud. You cringed lightly, when did they make this a boot camp? Maybe, that was the yelling you would sometimes overhear on the other side of the wall. 

You were pushed out of your thoughts as you were practically dragged into a large black van. You were sat in the back, in between two soldiers, their guns lying in their firm grip. You slumped down slightly when you were told the drive could be awhile, your mind slightly growing impatient.


	2. Meet and Greet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally meet the avengers, but will they accept your sassy personality?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is only part one, part two if the Meet and Greet will be posted soon c:

"How long 'til we get there?" You groaned, growing impatient once more. You felt like you've been on the road for an hour already. You could sense that you made one of the guard smile a bit, at least he had a sense of humor. 

"We should be arriving shortly," the man in the suit told you. You gave a slight nod as you let your head slump back to hit against the van's walls. After only a short 30 minutes, you arrived. You glanced down at your attire, you gave a shrug, it's what you would normally wear, you had guessed. Your top was just black tank top, the loss of the sleeves showing scars that ran down your arms. All of which were done in battle. Your pants were dark camo, they were very loose on your legs, very baggy, just the way you liked them. You were wearing worn down black combat boots, the ends of your pants caught in the beginning of the boot, showing the worn down leather. Your (h/c) hair was messy, not messy enough to make you look like a hobo, but messy. You flicked your gaze up as you stared at the large A that dared to fall on the tower, it was a reminder for everyone of how the Avengers saved, not killed. Though lately, you couldn't tell the difference. 

You were pushed out of your trance once more as the rain pelted your skin. "Couldn't you guys at least brought an umbrella?" You mumbled to yourself as you were walked towards the door of the Stark tower. You could feel the stares of the people around you as you were lead into the building. There was a receptionist at the front, which you were surprised by.  
This building seemed more official than you thought. You flicked your gaze to the woman as the man with the black suit walked up to the woman. She gave a warm smile as you felt your stomach turn to knots. This was it, you were finally meeting them. The Avengers, the ones who called themselves saviors. It was a bit overwhelming, though you never let it show. You couldn't hear the words the woman or the man spoke, the only thing you could hear was the pattering of the rain against the windows that seemed to be everywhere. It felt unnatural, being this exposed to the public eye. 

Once again, you were cut from your thoughts as the man hummed a thank you. You felt yourself being pulled to an elevator, as you entered the elevator, you saw one of the guards press the button stating '17'. You watched as the button lit up, a bit of nervousness falling over you once again. As the bell rang, the doors opened, revealing a silver hallway. You could hear talking and grumbling. You could hear someone say "Why did they want us to all get together?" along with variations of "What's going on?". You gave a slight laugh as you heard someone say "Tony if you made another giant robot, I swear to fucking god," followed by a "Language," comment from another voice. You could tell you were going to like it here. 

You watched as the man in the black suit opened the door, all the voices seemed to grow quiet as you were slightly pushed inside. You gave a slight smirk as you glanced around. Some of the Avengers were staring at you, some with their eyebrows raised, some with blank stares. They all looked a little fucked up, one in particular was the man with the metal arm. He seemed a bit off, you wanted to stare, but you attention was pulled away by a man with brown hair speaking, he was standing, but he wasn't that tall. You gave him a lopsided smile as you saw that he attempted to be intimating. "Who's she?" He asked, his voice gravely. The man in the black suit gave him a soft smile. 

"Ah Mr. Stark, wonderful to meet you. This here is (Y/n) (L/n), she will be working with you from now on," he replied, his voice calm.

"Says who?" 'Mr. Stark' continued. You had heard very little about this team, other than that they were saving people while also killing them. 

"Says S.H.E.I.L.D," the man spoke once more. You could see a man with blond hair glance at your hands and slowly stand.

"Why is she in handcuffs?" He asked, his hand gesturing to your shackled wrists.

"Just a precaution," he stiffed a smile, obviously getting bored of this conversation. The man nodded at one of the guards as the man harshly grabbed your wrists, putting in a key and unlocking them. 

"Thanks, babe," you smiled as you took your hand and gently patted the guard's helmet. Which he obviously felt uncomfortable with as he slightly aimed his gun at your side. You gave a light chuckle. You watched as a female with short red hair walked into the living room, her eyes scanning the situation. She let her emerald eyes fall on you. "What's up, fuckhead," You smiled as you heard the blond male mutter 'language'. You didn't care at this point, it was just you and her. 

"H-hey shitface," she choked out as she quickly walked towards you, you doing the same. One guard had his gun aiming at you as you viciously pulled the red-haired woman into a hug. You gripped tightly as she began to slightly stutter backwards, you following her footsteps. 

"It's good to see ya, Nat," You spoke as you held on to her for dear life. It had been way too long that you had seen her, and now that you had her back, you didn't want to ever let her go.


	3. Meet With A Little Hint Of Greet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You continue meeting with the Avengers, learning their names, but one person causes you to move into your past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aa this one's kinda long I'm sorry.

You fixed your gaze upon the redhead as you held her close. "(Y-Y/n), I can't breathe," she breathlessly choked out. You mumbled a stiff 'sorry' as you pulled away from her, your (e/c) eyes matching to look at hers. 

"I see you already know each other, wonderful. I shall be going now, I do hope you behave yourself (Y/n). In the course that she doesn’t," you watched the man glance at ‘Mr. Stark’ “Don’t be afraid to call us,” the man hummed as you gave him a slight glance.

"Yeah, I'm sure you'll miss me," you smiled towards the man as he left, you could tell he was just as excited to leave as you were to stay. You watched the man leave, the guards following the man as well. 

"How _do_ you guys even know each other?" You heard a man say, you could tell it was the one they called 'Mr. Stark', you didn't know his first name, nor did you bother to ask. You were too focused on Natasha to even translate what he said in your mind. 

"She's my best friend," you heard Natasha speak, her smile never leaving her face. "And if you think you're getting off the hook for leaving me for the past 8 years, then you'd be wrong (N/n)," she pointed at you accusingly. You raised your hands in defeat as she pulled you down to sit on the couch with her. You ended up with your head in Nat's lap and your feet hanging over the edge of the sofa. "Spill," she said as you gave her a slight worried glance. 

"In front of all these people?" You gave her a nervous chuckle, your brows knitting. She glanced up to see the rest of the Avengers silent, just watching you two. She gave you a knowing glance. 

"Fine, you learn about them, then we learn about you," she hummed triumphantly as you felt your smile turn into a pout. You grumbled a ‘fine’ as you sat up, your eyes turning to glance at each of the members once again, just giving them a once-over. 

"I guess since I'm practically the leader, I'll go first," 'Mr. Stark spoke. You slightly cringed at his confidence. It was too much to be held in that tiny body. “You probably know me already, but-”

“Actually, I don’t,” you spoke to the man, your head lying in your hands as you stared bored at the man. He gave you a look of bewilderment as you gave him a slight nod to continue.

“You’ve never heard of me? The almighty Iron Man?” You furrowed your brows as you stared at the man. You slowly shook your head no as he glanced around the room quickly. “Have you been living under a rock your whole life?” He asked, his hands gesturing towards you.

“Practically,” you mumbled as you glanced at Nat for a quick second, your gaze then returning to the man. “Please continue,” you gave him a nod once more before he started again. 

“My name is Tony Stark a.k.a, Iron Man. I’m the owner of this beautiful building,” he smiled triumphantly at you, expecting a praise or at least a ‘wow’. You gave him a nod.

“Lose some of the windows,” you glanced at all the windows in the room. “It makes me feel vulnerable,” you grumbled the last part, mostly for yourself. 

“I happen to like the windows,” he continued as you just shrugged. Not caring to continue with the conversation with the man, you looked over to the blond man that kept commenting on your language.

“What’s your name, blondie,” you asked casually as you flung your arm around Nat’s shoulders, you could tell that it was relaxing to her. Her muscles seemed to tense at first, but soon she relaxed into your touch. You used to always sit like this, with you being bigger than her, she would always rest her head on your shoulder while you would wrap your arm around her shoulder, not a big deal. You and her both recognized that these motions were platonic, you didn’t feel that way about her, nor she to you. Though, you did enjoy each other’s company. 

“I’m Steve Rogers, but, some people know me as Captain America,” you nodded, not caring much about what their Avenger name was. Their Avenger name was a way to hide, so no one could push past your barriers and stuff their way into your life. It was a way out of this shit show they called a job. 

“What can you do? I’m assuming that since you're an Avenger you can do something ‘super’,” you spoke once more as you felt Natasha gently place her head on your shoulder. You almost smiled, nothing had changed between you. It felt like all those years that you were away just seemed to disappear. It was a nice feeling.

You watched as Steve gave you and Natasha a slight glance, a look you knew too well. He thought you two were a thing. You gave him a stare, expecting him to answer the question at hand. “I guess I’m just strong,” he shrugged. You gave a slight nod as you moved on to the next man. 

“You, handsome,” you pointed to the black man sitting next to Steve. “What are you doing here?” He gave you a slight smirk as you just glanced at Nat stare at you with a confused glance. “I just call ‘em like I see ‘em,” you smiled as you turned back to the man. 

“Well, my name is Sam Wilson,” he gave a bit more of a smile as he moved his hand to shake yours. You were a bit confused by his charming demeanor. He didn’t seem fazed by the scars that lined your arms, or rather he and the others hadn’t seen them yet. You moved your arm away from Natasha, you could hear her grumble ‘I was comfy’. A slight smile fell on your lips as you moved to shake his hand. You heard a stifled gasp come from Natasha. You moved your gaze over to her as you watched her eyes fall on your scars, some deeper and longer than others. “Quite a collection you got there,” Sam commented. 

You gave him a slight shrug as you moved your hand away from his, everyone seemed to be staring at your arms now as you gently let out a sigh. “Been in a couple fights now and then,” you replied as Natasha gave you a glare. You could tell she wanted every detail of where you were and what you were doing. “Look, Nat, it’s nothing big, just a couple fights,” You glanced at her now slightly softening features. 

“I want to know what happened when we’re done here,” she whispered harshly to you as you just nodded. 

“Anyway,” you continued, your arms wrapping around Natasha once more. “What were you saying?” You hummed back to Sam, he just continued on, without giving the slightest recognition about what happened just a moment before. 

“I fly, kind of. It’s a metal suit with wings,” you gave him a smirk.

“That sounds wicked,” you spoke, Nat laughed at your choice of words. She always seemed to like your language, just the words you decided to use was enough to make her cry from laughter. You could feel a pair of eyes on your arm as you glanced over to see a man with long hair staring at your scars. He seemed to be caught in a trance. You raised one eyebrow as you watched Natasha follow your gaze. “What about you, metal man,” he raised his head to glance at you. You had to hold in a gasp as you saw the dark in his eyes, they barely had any light in them. His rough appearance added to the horror you saw in his stone cold eyes. The shade of blue causing your heart to feel something it hadn’t felt in a long time. Fear. 

“He doesn’t talk much,” You heard Steve say as he patted the man’s shoulder. He continued to stare into your (e/c) eyes, you eventually turned to Steve to ask him to elaborate. “His name is Bucky,” you nodded as you turned to see the man’s gaze hasn’t left your face. He was intimidating, you’d give him that. 

“What happened to his arm,” you asked as you watched both Steve and Bucky slightly move in their seat. “Sore subject?” you asked as Natasha just nodded. You gave a ‘sorry’ as you moved to glance at another woman, her hair brown with a mix of red as well. Although, it was long, and she looked a bit pale. She could see that it was her turn by the way you looked at her, waiting for her to speak. 

“What, I don’t get a nickname?” She asked, a slight smile tugging at her lips.  
“I can’t think of anything right now,” you gave a sigh, although, you had a smile on your mouth. “Actually, I think I’ll call you redhead,” you cocked your head slightly as you glanced at her hair for a moment. 

“That’ll work,” she nodded as she continued to introduce herself. “My name is Wanda Maximoff,” she nodded as you gave a glance towards Natasha.

“Romanoff, Maximoff, coincidence?” You asked, your brows knitted. Nat just gave a slight chuckle.

“Coincidence,” she spoke back as you gave a slight nod, wanting Wanda to continue with her introduction. 

“I believe I am what others would call a mutant,” your smile fell as you stared at her with a stare that changed the whole feeling of the room. The atmosphere seemed to change to a dark, dangerous mood. Your gaze was quickly fallen over to Natasha. “I need to leave,” you almost growled, your teeth slightly grinding against one another. Natasha just gave you a worried glance, yet a ‘sure’ fell out of her mouth. She got up and you followed.

“We’re going to finish the introductions later, alright?” she looked around the room, her answer was to everyone, but mostly Wanda. You felt yourself walking to the door without Natasha as you opened it quickly almost slamming it shut as Nat gave an apologetic look to Wanda before leaving. You stepped into the hallway, your breathing became heavy as your chest rose and fell quickly. The memories of the many mutants that had attacked you, fought you, rose into your mind.

Tony went to the computer sitting on the kitchen, near the living room, bringing it over to the room and flicked something up to the wall, a picture of the hallway with both you and Natasha showed on the wall, your conversation on display for the whole group to see. Tony was genuinely curious about why you had left, as was everyone else. “They’re having a private conversation,” Steve protested but Tony just shot him a glance, telling him that if you were staying here, he wanted to know what you had against Mutants. 

“You have a fucking mutant here?” You growled as Natasha glanced at you with a worried look.

“What do you have against mutants?” She answered. The group watched in silence as you started rubbing your hands in your hair. 

“Everything, I cannot live with a fucking mutant. There is only one mutant that I can live with, and he is two hours away from here,” you almost shouted. Natasha put her hands up to place on your shoulders. You visibly flinched away. She pressed her hands at her side. She had never seen you this way before. Before you disappeared, you were the happiest person she knew, you cared about everyone and everything. 

“Wanda isn’t bad though, she’s a good kid. I’ve never seen her hurt anyone that didn’t deserve it,” Natasha sighed. 

“I don’t give a shit, all mutants are the same,” you hissed. “They take you in, show you they care, but it’s all a trick. It’s all a fucking game so they can manipulate you,” you glared at Natasha, your stature threatening.

“What happened to you, (Y/n)?” She asked, worry lining her voice. “What changed?” She asked again, not giving you a chance to answer the first question. 

“I’ve just been forced to do some shitty stuff is all,” you answered, your voice barely above a whisper. The memories of various mutants trying to make you ‘like them’, they would constantly use their powers to change the way you thought, your mind focused on the memory of the little girl, her body frail, her long blonde hair messy and tangled, her blue eyes scared, nervous. She couldn’t have been more than 8 years old. ‘Kill her’ echoed in your mind as your hand nervously ran it’s way through your hair. You could remember her screams, the way your glazed (e/c) eyes reflected from her blue ones. It was a hard sight to see, of course, at the time, nothing mattered to you. 

“T-they made me kill a girl, just a little girl. She was so young, so pretty, and they fucking made me kill her,” you were shaking as you stared at Nat for a second, your gaze then fell to your hands. You turned them, staring at every speck of skin that dared to show itself. 

“Were they mutants?” Natasha asked, her eyes watching your body movements. All you could do was nod, your voice far away from your throat. Natasha instantly pulled you into a hug, you gently hugged her back, now seemingly afraid of your own strength. “We’re going to get you to bed okay? But, I need you to promise me that you’ll at least talk to Wanda. She would never ever do that someone,” You gave her a worried glance as you pulled away from her.

“I don’t think-” you started.

“I know you can, I need you to trust me okay? Do you trust me?” You nodded as she grabbed your hand. “I’m going lend you my room while Tony sets you up a spare one, alright?” Her words were now more gentle, more gentle than you have ever heard.

The whole room was silent, they were all in shock. There were no words to describe how they felt, they all just silently glanced at Wanda for a moment before Tony pushed the footage away from the wall. Wanda’s eyebrows were raised, her lips in a frown, her eyes showing nothing but astonishment and worry. The door to the main living room opened as Natasha walked through, her eyes on the group that surrounded the room. “I know you all heard what happened,” the group nodded slightly as she gave Wanda a pat on the back. “Don’t take it personally. She’ll see through it, she’s just needs you to show that you aren’t like that, alright?” Wanda nodded as she stared at Natasha, her blue-green eyes shut a bit.  
“I’m going to let her sleep in my room until you fix her a new one, Tony,” she nodded towards the dark-haired man as he just nodded, his voice seemed to be gone as well. She sighed and patted Wanda’s shoulder, her feet trudging towards the door as she joined you once more. She pulled you to her room. “You’ll be alright here, (N/n), believe me,” she responded lightly as you fell on her bed. You knew that there would be some cold blood between you and Wanda, but you tried not to think about it as you almost instantly fell asleep.


	4. Deceased

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A memory clouds your judgement, making you mingle with a man you though you would never talk to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not uploading a chapter yesterday :c I'll try to upload two today to make up for it <3  
> Also,  
> (h/l) = hair length  
> (h/c) = hair color  
> (f/i) = first initial  
> (l/i) = last initial

_You ran down the hill, your feet pounding at the ground with such a pace that pins and needles begun to dance on your foot's skin. You flicked your gaze forward, your (e/c) eyes piercing the wave of air gushing towards you. You were quick, not as quick as your 'crew-mates' but still fast. You're (h/l) (h/c) hair flicking against the air bubbling towards you. You flung your feet forward as you ran along side your mates. Your brain didn't know where you were heading, yet, your body did. You quickly jumped, your body colliding with the roof you were jumping on. Your feet continued on as if nothing happened, not a word was spoken between the rest of the group. You focused your eyes to glance towards your right for a quick second, the glow of the light-poles catching your eyes for a moment. You heard a quick grumble as one of the men in front of you tripped up a bit before jumping onto another roof. He hardly caught it, his hand gripping at the edge as he let out a groan, his hands quickly pulling him. You jumped over him, not stopping to pull him up. He effortlessly fixed himself as he ran along with you once more. You could see his eyes emitting a neon green light, the way he was running made it look like the smoke in his eyes were falling in strands behind him. 'Like rain off the window of a speeding car,' you thought._

_You watched as the rest of the group slowed to a stiff walk. "Ritt, pull the plug," the man spoke, his hand pressing something in his ear. His voice was deep, gruff, his short buzz cut exploiting the earpiece that wrapped around his ear. A stiff 'done' was heard over the earpiece, yours picking it up as well. You watched as the building next to the roof you were standing slowly flickered to blackness. You watched as a small woman trudged forward to a window, a slight green halo dancing over her head. You caught a glimpse of her eyes, they looked cold, dead. You watched her flick her hand into the glass, shattering it. "Were going in," the first man whispered as he walked towards the window, his eyes focused forward. The mix of your black clothes causing you to blend with the darkness._

_Your body was forced forward, your feet forcing you to jump through that window, you were in first. A mirror from across the room caught your attention as you could see a slight green halo over your head as well. You were pushed passed the mirror as the buzz cut moved into the window, his gloves causing a slight squeak to emit from grabbing hold of the window frame. You let your hand push to your waist as you pulled out a small black pistol with (f/i)(l/i) carved into the side of the weapon, claiming it as yours. Your (e/c) eyes danced across every nook and cranny in the walls, you quickly saw a security camera. You pushed your hand to stop the buzz cut from stepping in front of you, you knew the power was out, but you had to take every precaution. You took your gun and shot at the camera, leaving a crack in the glass. The suppressed barrel muffling the shot._

_The buzz cut gave you a cold slap on the back as he continued to walk forward, his feet stepping on glass with each step. You followed him, your breathing was normal, weirdly, you were calm. You focused your (e/c) eyes on the dark tan door in front of you, your hands silently grabbing at the knob as you opened the door, your gun aimed to your left and your right as you quickly glanced around you, looking for any sign of movement. "(Y/n), take this floor. Roone, you take the first floor. I'll take the second. Alec, take the third." You nodded silently as you pushed down the elongated hallway. You heard pairs of feet silently walking down the stairs. You focused your gaze on the doors three doors to your right. You slowly walked towards the wooden door as you turned the knob, a slight squeak of the hinges causing you to open it slower. Your gun was pointed forward, your eyes falling on a desk with a computer on it. Trophies were littered on shelves, you didn't dare to read the names, that wasn't your mission._

_You placed your gloved hands on the drawers of the desk as you opened each file, looking for any stash of cash or any information that could be potentially useful to your captors. You shimmied your hands through the files, finding nothing but word documents that meant nothing to you. You spotted a locked drawer as you took out your gun once more, shooting a bullet into the lock, making it fall to the ground with a thud. Your eyes scanned over the small plastic bag of powder, no, they were diamonds! 'Diamonds?' you thought as you slightly saw the reflection of the halo above your head. "I found diamonds," you spoke into the earpiece, your hand pushing the bag of diamonds into your coat pocket._

_"Shit, (Y/n), you got lucky, there's nothing here for me," you heard another deep voice say, knowing well that it belonged to Alec._

_"Shut it!" You heard buzz cut speak over the earpiece. You slowly continued your search in the other rooms until you reached the last on your floor, it had drawings of butterflies taped to the wooden door. You slowly opened it, two bodies were sitting in the corner of the room, one larger than the other._

_P-please don't hurt us," you heard a male whimper, a slight frown fell on your lips. You couldn't promise anything to them. The man was older, his hair was gray and you could see wrinkles lining his skin._

_"Got two people here," you called into your earpiece. You glanced at the smaller person, she had long blonde curly hair, her large blue eyes were red and puffy. She was sniffling, you could hardly see the tears that stained her cheeks. "A guy and a kid," you spoke after your first claim._

_"How old 're they?" You heard buzz cut say._

_"The guy looks old, probably late fifties," you answer, examining them. "The girl can't be more than seven," you answer as you heard two words you'd never heard said to you before._

_"Kill them," you heard. You immediately raised your gun and the man right between the eyes, his blood splattering the wall behind him as he slowly slid down and fell on the child's lap. His blood began to pour onto the girl's clothes, her scream echoing through to building. You aimed your gun at the girl, your finger on the trigger, but your finger wouldn't move. You could hear her cries as they got louder. "(Y/n)! Kill her!" You heard on the line, you gave a light swallow as you stared at her. Your head began to spin as you pulled the trigger, her cries stopped. The silence was sickening. You stared at her eyes as the dizziness faded, your eyes daring to fill with tears. Yet, they didn't. You just sat there, staring at her cold, lifeless, baby blue eyes. Her head was against the wall, the blast of the bullet causing her forehead to drip with blood, her freckles being covered with a thin coat of red liquid._

You woke up with sweat dripping down your face, your throat felt strained, as if you had applied to much pressure to it. Your body ached as you sat up, your (e/c) eyes darting around the room. You placed your hand on your chest as your heart beat faster than you had expected it could ever go. Your chest rose and fell quickly with each shaky breath as you glanced at the body covered in a blanket next to you. "(Y/n)?" A voice called, you slowly recognized it as Natasha. 

"Oh hey," you smiled a bit as you pushed your almost nude body off the bed. You were in nothing but a sports bra and pair of dark camo pants that you were wearing earlier. You couldn't remember taking them off, but it wasn't a big issue, your body probably got hot, causing you to take off your tank top. Your boots were lied sloppily on the floor, your tank top lying next to it. You didn't much care about your lack of clothes. You and Natasha were close, you have seen each other with _less_ on. 

You gave a slight groan as the dreaded question fell out of her lips. "Are you alright?" She asked, her hand placing atop yours, reassuring you. 

"Yeah, when you've been in a prison for five years, you want to walk around when you're free," you laughed a bit as Nat gave you a quick smile. 

"Sure, there's a training room in the basement, and don't go to anyone's room." You gave her a slight questioning glance as you mumbled a response.

"You'd expect with this many floors, everyone would have their own." You gave a cheeky grin as Natasha groaned.

"We did, until the fuckhead blew them up with his 'experiments'," you gave a nod as you sat up, your stomach slowly aching from the lack of food in your stomach. 

"Won't be gone too long," you hummed as you moved away from her touch, your body moving past your discarded clothes and towards the door. Natasha gave a groggy 'k' as you opened it lightly, shutting it without a noise. You moved towards the open living room, finding a man sitting in front of the T.V., you could see his features from the light of the screen. He had a stubble claiming his chin, long brown hair framing his face. You stared as you saw the outline of his jawline. 'Shit, that jawline is so sharp it could fucking cut me,' you thought as you watched his gaze turn towards you. You quickly turned away, moving towards the kitchen once more. 

You slipped your hands onto the handles of the fridge, opening it, causing your pupils to dilate as the light shown in your eyes. You gave a slight groan as you looked at what they had. It wasn't much, but you spotted some grapes. Your hand quickly grabbed the bag, opening it and gripping the grapes off their vines so you could put them in your mouth. Your tongue danced at the slightly bitter taste of the grapes, your mouth watering for more. 

You could feel the man's gaze on you, you couldn't quite remember his name so you just walked over to the couch, sitting on it as you stared at the muted television. You absentmindedly popping grapes in your mouth. You could feel the tension in the room growing as you decided to give a witty comment so he would keep his eyes to himself.  
"Take a picture, it'll last longer," You grumbled, your eyes not moving from the T.V. 

You heard a slight grumble as he continued to stare at the screen, the memories of your past fogging up your mind. You didn't mind that the cool sweat stuck to your skin, it happened almost every night. You didn't care anymore. You turned to face the man, he had even better features than you had seen from afar. Almost everything about him screamed 'dangerous', yet, you wanted to test the water, feel the danger under your skin. 

You turned away quickly. Why were you thinking about this? What? The 3 years of torture not enough? You mentally scolded yourself as you turned to put the grapes on the table in front of you. "You have a lot of scars on your back," the man grumbled. Your mind still not able to think of his name, you gave him a slight frown.

"Yeah, thanks for stating the obvious, metal man," you gave him a bit of a glare as he just shrugged. 

"They're pretty long, and thick," He mumbled as you gave him a slight grumble.

"Yeah, whips'll do that ya," you almost whispered as he eyed you. "You heard right," you spoke to him once more, your back returning to it's place against the couch. For about 30 minutes, you sat in an uncomfortable silence with the man. "What's your name?" You ask him, his mouth opens lightly as he gives you a gruff answer. 

"I think it's Bucky," he spoke nonchalantly as you gave him a slight suspicious stare. 

"You think?" You asked.

"Hydra," you made an 'o' shape with your mouth as you mumbled a 'sorry'. You had heard rumors around the prison of Hydra brainwashing people. You would hear it from the young guards that patrolled your hallway, with their young spirits, you would always give them a scoff and turn away. You and Mutie would always have some arguments if it was real or not. You were always on the opposing side. It would always end with you saying 'Fuck it, I don't even care, you go ahead and believe it, thick-skull!' It brought a smile to your lips, thinking about how Mutie was always there for you. Even though you were mean to each other, you still had each other's backs. You kind of missed him, boy, would he have a laugh hearing you say that. 

For the rest of the night, you two sat on the leather couch, your eyes never leaving the screen, often popping another grape into your mouth. The fear you once felt from him erasing from his presence.


	5. Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You fall into memory lane once again, your mind focused solely on your time with your captures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to make! I have no right to try to make excuses, but I just recently got braces so I've been dying (help).
> 
> Also, this is a huge backstory chapter, I quit with the backstory once I reached where the reader is captured, so if you want me to tell what happened to the reader in her time that she was missing please let me know and I will do it. ;D

The night went quick, the television was the only thing that caused you and Bucky to not talk. There wasn't as much tension as before, but it was still there. The silence was almost deafening. All you could think about were your missions, the deaths you had caused, the screams that you swear you could still hear. You wanted to talk to someone about, but you knew they would say 'It wasn't your choice' or 'it wasn't you'. The slight lingering feeling of hiding your emotions fell on your mind, if you would hide them, no one would know about them, then they couldn't be used against you. You slowly begun to feel the dark emotion that lived in your soul, sadness. You often wished that you were just killed, rather it be from them or someone else, you didn't care. You don't want the pain that the memories caused you. You were cut from your trance as you heard footsteps walking on the wooded flooring. "Morning," a male called. You turned your head to see a blond man grabbing a cup from the cabinets. You slowly recognized him as Steve Rogers, the Captain Patriot or something like that.

"Good Morning," you mumbled as you glanced at the clock on the microwave. A green 6:15 was plastered on the microwave. You couldn’t tell how long you and Bucky had been sitting on the couch, the television emitting your only source of light, nor did you care.

You silently glanced out the window to see that it was still dark, though the sky was a bit more blue than before. “What’re you doing up?” you heard Steve ask. You gave him a slight smile.

“I was gonna ask you the same thing,” you hummed as you turned your glance back to the man. Your (e/c) eyes falling on Bucky before you reached Steve. His eyes were shut, his breathing normal, his head was lying back against the couch. You were a bit confused on how you didn’t notice his light snoring or the fact that his lips were parted just enough to let the air escape his lungs. You then let your eyes wander for a bit more before turning to the blond again. 

“I was getting ready for a morning jog,” he shrugged as your gaze fell on the mug he held. There was nothing special about it, just a plain dull, red mug. He flicked on the light in the kitchen as he glanced towards you and Bucky on the couch. You were on one end, while he was on the other, sleeping soundly. He wanted to comment on it, but decided it would be best if he just left it be. Bucky needed more people he could trust, he didn’t need him poking in on his relationships. 

“I couldn’t sleep last night, guess I got a bit restless, being out of that cell and all,” you answered his questioning glance as he just slowly nodded, his head turning to look at the coffee maker in front of him. He silently put in the coffee grinds, his fingers pushing buttons until he heard the satisfying crunch of the coffee being turned to liquid. 

“How’d you get put under S.H.E.I.L.D’s jail list?” He asked, which he already knew the answer to, you were a killer, he heard that last night. He just wanted to know your side of it. 

“Fucking mutants,” you growled as you glared at the T.V. He gave a slight nod as he turned back to his coffee. He could tell he hit a sore patch as the atmosphere changed from a light delightful feeling to a dark and anger-filled aurora. You gave a slight grumble as you tried to get the fun mood back. “I’m sorry,” you spoke. “I’m not a big fan of mutants,” you sighed as you stood, revealing your bare stomach. You could see Steve turn to you, but he quickly turned away. A loud cough echoed from his chest as you glanced down on the countertop. 

“Y-you’re not wearing a shirt,” he exhaled deeply as you knitted your eyebrows. You then let out a slight chuckle as you flicked your gaze towards the man. 

“Does this bother you?” you asked, a grin plastered on your face. 

“Yes, can you please put on a shirt or something?” he asked, you wanted to tease him, but you knew that could potentially hurt your future relationships with the others. You let out a sigh as you left the room, your feet padding the wood under you.

“Sure,” you smiled kindly as you left, you heard a ‘thanks’ echo against the halls as you moved towards Natasha’s room once more. 

As you entered, you could hear Natasha’s slight moving in the bed. You glanced the clock to see 5:18 AM plastered on the metal box. You trudged lightly to her closet as you focused your gaze on the clothing that had seemed to be mostly skin-tight. “Does she ever have any time to relax?” You mumbled to yourself as you had lightly touched the black jump-suit. Her closet seemed to have nothing but beautiful dresses and skin-tight clothing. “What the hell?” You angrily muttered as you poked between the clothing, to find anything that wouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable.

You slightly hissed as you found nothing, you turned to Natasha’s sleeping form and sighed a bit. You knew she was always worked up, she had never changed. You give a slight smirk as you remember Natasha always training when she wasn’t on a mission, or she wasn’t working. You two were always close, you weren’t working in The Red Room, like she was, but your mother was, she was a cold person. Sure, you loved her, but you never showed it, nor did she. It was sort of an unspoken agreement that you both shared. You would never show any emotion towards her, just as she to you. There were those rare moments where you would get a small smile, or an ‘I’m proud of you, (Y/n).’ You thrived for those moments. You remember the day your mother tried to convince your father to let you join the Red Room, be an assassin just as the other girls were. Of course, your father fought her, told her no. Your mother was furious, she kept trying and trying, but you didn’t want it either. You didn’t want to be like the other girls.

So, then on, your mother would just take you to training rooms, having you watch their practices. She was still upset that you didn’t want to carry on her legacy, but she had the same respect for you as you did for her. Therefore, she stopped pushing you. That didn’t mean she didn’t try to convince you, she had you sit in the room with the girls, watching their training. You learned a lot from the other girls, just sitting quietly and watching them work. Though, a young, red-headed girl always seemed to catch your eye. You were just a couple years younger than her, that much you could tell. Your mother seemed to praise her and criticize her harder than she had ever done to you. You didn’t know what the feeling was that you always felt towards her. Was it pity? Jealousy? You didn’t know, it always switched around, one minute you’d be dumbfounded by her work, then the next you would watch her with angry eyes as your mother praised her. 

You never told your mother about these feelings, you just let them slide through you. You continued to watch the girl until her graduation ceremony. You knew what they were going to do, so did she. You always felt bad for the girls at the graduation. These ceremonies didn’t happen before your mother changed the system. Your mother was one of the top dogs, right along with the head of the organization. After her class graduated, she would see all her colleagues getting married and having children, though few stayed loyal to the cause. Your mother doing the same, getting married and having a child. Though, she knew that she was now vulnerable, therefore, she acted cold towards you, trying to detach any emotional baggage she held with you. 

Her want was heavy, she carried this issue to the head of the organization, stating that it would be so much easier if the children were to become sterile, to kill the only thing that could ever mean more than a mission. Of course, with Hydra, this flowed well throughout the men and women that held this prison together. They all agreed that there should be nothing holding these women back from their cause. You were conflicted when you first heard about the graduation ceremony, and how they caused girls to be sterile, how they caused them to never be able to form life. When you asked your mom about it, she just stood proud and said that it was her doing. You wanted to throw a fist at her right then and there, but you knew that would a cause a lot of trouble among your family and the people around it. So, you just gritted your teeth and gave a slight hum. 

It was after Natasha’s ceremony that you finally met her. She was getting ready to leave to a new facility when you had snuk to her room and said that you were sorry about they did to her. Natasha just waved and tried to give a smile, “It’s okay, the cause is worth it,” that’s all she said, but you could tell that she didn’t want to be in this prison, that she didn’t want to be part of the cause. 

You wanted to help her, you wanted to say “I know you don’t want to be here, neither do I,” but you kept your mouth shut, not wanting to wake the other girls. You stayed with her and talked about small nothings that calmed you. When she left the next morning, you were heartbroken. You had only spent a short amount of time with her, but you already missed her. She was one of the only nice girls that stayed in the facility. You eventually caught up with her once again when you turned 15, she was a bit older than you, she was around 18 or 19. You didn’t really care. You left your mother soon after Natasha left, you couldn’t stand being with her anymore, and your father didn’t blame you. He was the one that helped you get your way to Natasha anyways. Your mother wasn’t conflicted when you left, she had acted as if she was hoping you’d be gone. Which you didn’t mind, you didn’t much care for her, nor she for you. 

You stayed with Natasha in Russia for a bit, she stayed in a small broken-down apartment, going off and doing missions while you stayed behind and drew in a small sketchbook she had bought you. At first, she said that you were not aloud to stay with her, but you wouldn’t leave. You could tell that she enjoyed your company, which kept you coming back. You were constantly moving, but you loved it. Often times, Natasha would be gone for a couple days, but she always seemed to come back for you. At first, her leaving you scared you shitless, but after a few missions and whole-hearted promises, you stopped worrying. She would always come home, broken and battered, and she would talk to you about the sights she saw, or the people she met, but, she never would talk about her missions. You didn’t want to hear them either, it was a rough lifestyle, and you didn’t want to force her into talking about something she didn’t want to talk about. 

It only took a couple of days before you and Natasha started doing everything together. You would bake things together when Natasha was home, or you would draw her things when she left. Of course, she made you take online classes for schooling, but that was a breeze. You stayed with Natasha for a year before all hell broke loose. 

You were home alone, Natasha was gone, on a mission probably. Yet, she was gone for a long time, normally she would be one for 3 days max. Though, she had been gone for a week with no contact. You were growing increasingly worried as you stayed in the broken down apartment that you both shared. You stayed, nose in your sketchbook, as night drew closer. You were staring at the ceiling as you had attempted to fall asleep on the stray mattress that was lied on the floor. You heard a pair of boots walk slowly down the hallway, your (e/c) eyes darting to stare at the wooden door. You saw the knob shake a bit as you slowly sat up, wondering if it was Natasha. “Nat?” You whispered lightly as you watched the door slowly creak open. A pair of green eyes staring at you, you thought they were Natasha’s at first, until they started emitting a neon green light. You jumped from your place on the mattress, frantically looking for a weapon. Your body froze just as you were about to grab a knife that was sitting on the table, near the dirty couch. 

Your (e/c) eyes darted as your body stood in place, you tried moving your arms or legs, or _something_ , but they wouldn’t budge. A laugh echoed in the room as the man that you had seen earlier walked in front of you, he picked up the knife as he slowly started twirling the tip lightly against his fingertips. “I knew there was someone living here,” he muttered slowly as he slowly let the tip of the knife fall from his fingertips to dance along your neck. “Pretty,” he hummed as he glanced at your eyes, they were wide, watching his every move. He pulled out a phone as he pressed in a number, the knife still lightly scattering along your neck. “Hey, it’s me. I found a girl, probably 15 or 16, she’s a cutie,” the man hummed as you felt a small tear prick at your left eye. “You want me to bring her in?” You wanted to cry out, scream for Natasha, hoping that she would be able to hear you. The man nodded, “See you soon,” he hummed as he flicked the knife away from your neck, putting it in his pocket. A smile formed on his lips as he stared at you. 

“I think my boss will like you,” he smiled a sinister smile as he forced your body to stop. A small halo fell on your head as you watched him bend down to stare at you. “Let’s go, kid,” he laughed as you blindly followed him. Your jaw clenched as you tried to scream out, but nothing would fall out of your lips. Your throat began to dry up as you tried to scream, your throat clenching around your vocal cords. A bag was placed over your head as soon as you left the building, you could see nothing but street lights that shone through the dirty bag. The stench made your stomach turn to knots as you felt your muscles tense. You felt something, or someone, push you into a door, causing you to bump your knee harshly against a piece of metal. Pain shot through your leg as you were forced into the container, you heard a low rumble of an engine as you slowly felt the vibration under your feet. Someone gripped your shoulder and pushed you to sit down. You let out a slight groan as you felt your knee beginning to ache. The bag that was sitting on your head was pulled off as you saw the same man that had kidnapped you, sitting in front of you. You wanted to let out a hiss but you just sat still, your larynx still being clenched tightly from your throat. 

You could feel your stomach starting to twist and turn as you watched the man in front of you. “Hey! Why does that one have the bag off?” A deep voice hissed. 

“I like to look at her,” the man in front of you smirked as you let a swallow fall down your throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment on if you want me to share more about the reader's past with their captures or not <3


	6. Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally talk out with two people who you thought would never care about you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone on tumblr requested that I make a long chapter for this one :D Also, there's a Political Animals reference in here somewhere, let's see if you can find it c;

“(Y/n),” Natasha called as you were cut from your memories. You were slightly thankful for her voice drifting your mind away from your past as you raised your eyebrows, lifting your head to look at her. She was now standing in front of you, her hands waving in front of your face. “You alright there?” She asked, a hint of worry in her expression. You just gave her a confused look. “You were staring at me while I was sleeping,” she responded as you nodded, not wanting to tell her about your memories, you let out the first phrase that came to you.

“Just thinking about how many ways I can murder you,” you gave her a smirk as she gave you a slight scoff.

“I don’t even think you could get me to hit the ground, (N/n),” Natasha teased as you gave her a challenging look.

“Is that a challenge?” You smiled at her, the thoughts of your memories flooding to the back of your mind.

“No, it’s a statement,” Natasha gave a smirk as she walked out of the room, you hardly even noticed a light blue hoodie falling over her body as you gave a loud questioning yell.

“What the fuck? Where did you find that?!” You exclaimed as you heard Natasha let out a loud laugh.

“Like I’d ever tell you,” you barely heard. You let out a loud sigh, knowing Natasha would hear it. You quickly walked over to your black tank top that still lied next to your combat boots, pulling it on over your shoulders you followed the redhead into the kitchen. Steve was gone, as was Bucky, though others took their place. You recognized the men instantly, though you didn’t greet them. You could feel their stares on your back as you walked over to Natasha.

“You’re a bitch, ya know that?” You spoke, loud enough for the whole team to hear it. Natasha just let out a laugh.

“Don’t call a bitch a bitch, us bitches hate that,” she smiled as she filled up a (f/c) mug, slowly moving it towards you. You let out a slight laugh as you grabbed the cup, your lips quickly connecting to the rim, your mind craving the bitter taste of the coffee that fell on your tongue. You could hear the conversations between the others had stopped, their eyes just watching your interactions with Natasha.

You ignored their eyes as you glanced at Natasha, she was placing a finger on her cheek. You knew what that meant, and you quickly moved your face forward to give a quick peck on her cheek. You would always do that to her when you were living with her, she’d make something for you and you’d give her a kiss on the cheek to show your gratitude, obviously Natasha still remembered the gesture. You quickly turned to see the men staring at you with either raised eyebrows, wide eyes, or both. You gave them a shrug. “Somethin’ wrong, fellas?” You asked as they just shook their head no. A smile fell on your lips as you turned to Natasha once more, a laugh was threatening to spill over her as you gave a light punch on her shoulder, causing coffee to spill on her light blue hoodie.

“(Y/n)!” She practically shrieked as you jumped back a bit, apologizing profusely.

“I’m sorry,” you spoke, your eyebrows knitted together as she gave you a glare. “Here, go get another shirt and I’ll clean this up,” you gave a shy smile towards her in attempt to crack her anger. She just let out a defeated sigh as a small smile was placed on her lips. She quickly put down the cup and walked towards her room to change.

You turned to grab some paper towels as you began wiping off the extra coffee that spilled onto the floor. Once they were clean, you raised off the floor, looking around for the trash can. “It’s under the countertop, next to the sink,” you heard a man speak. You nodded as you opened the cabinet attached to the bottom of the countertop, a metal bin lying on the floor, you quickly threw the damp paper towels in it. “You know,” you heard the same voice speak as you turned your head to look at the man speaking. You recognized him, but you don’t think you had introduced yourselves. You didn’t know his name, or who he was. “Natasha seems to be way more happy, now that you’re here,” he gave a slight smile. “I kinda feel like you’re stealing my best friend away from me,” he let out a dry laugh as you gave him a cocky grin.

“ _Your_ best friend?” You asked coldly. “I assure you, that Tasha is in fact, my best friend,” you spoke teasingly, you didn’t really know what you were after, it was early in the morning and your blood was beginning to rush awake. The man let out a groan.

“I’m too old for this shit,” he mumbled, though a smile was pulling at the corner of his mouth. You wanted to egg him more, maybe even get him to fight you.

“Exactly, which is why she dumped your old ass for me,” you mumbled as your lips touched the coffee mug once again. You could hear Sam let out a chuckle before you turned to the short man who tried his hardest to hold his ego in his tiny body. “I would appreciate it if you would stop staring at me, Tony,” you flicked your gaze towards him, your (e/c) eyes falling on him. You heard the elevator ding as you watched Steve and Bucky walk back into the living room. Steve waved a bit as Bucky just walked past you towards the fridge.

Steve began saying variations of ‘good morning’ to people as he walked over to the kitchen, Bucky tossing him a water bottle. Natasha walked back into the room to see almost everyone in the room, except for Vision and Wanda, a new white t-shirt hugged her body, her black leggings still hugging her calves. Natasha gave everyone a nod as she turned back to you, walking up next to you and leaning against the countertop, her elbows propped just as yours were. “You’re still not off the hook,” she whispered towards you as the room filled with conversations, you slowly nodded your head as you focused your attention on the brown coffee that was sitting in the mug in your hands.

You heard a familiar voice as your (e/c) eyes shot up. “Shit,” you mumbled as you saw Wanda walk in the room, a grey long-sleeved shirt holding her form. Black pants hugged her thighs as you turned your gaze to look down at the countertops, your muscles tightened around your bones. You visibly flinched as Natasha placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. You turned towards her, your (e/c) eyes dark. Memories of missions playing in front of your mind.

You could hear slight whispering towards you, but you couldn’t understand what they were saying. Your gaze once more fell on Wanda as she moved forward, her smile radiating in the room. “I think I need to leave,” you mumbled before Natasha gripped your left shoulder tighter.

“Just, hear her out, okay? She’s not like the other ones. She’s a good kid,” You almost let out a laugh, but a scoff fell off your lips as well. Unknown anger rose in your chest, your lips formed a straight line as you practically glared at Natasha.

“No mutant is a ‘good kid’,” you growled as you tried pushing past her, your body twisting to walk towards the door. Her hand moved from your shoulder to your chest as she pressed hard, sending your right foot to move back a bit. You turned your head slightly to the right to see that Wanda was looking at you, her eyebrows furrowed, you saw that Bucky was also watching you.

“Well, she is,” Natasha growled back as you gripped her wrist gently, your inhales becoming deeper as you tried to keep calm.

“I’m going to your room,” you mumbled as you gently tried to push her hand off your chest.

“Talk to her,” Natasha pushed. You let out a heavy sigh as you glared down at her at bit, though you shook your head no.

“I don’t feel very comfortable with that,” you mumbled, though there was a hint of anger in your voice, which Natasha caught on to right as the words left your mouth.

“What the hell happened to you, (Y/n)?” She asked, her eyes glancing up at you in worry. You pulled her wrist from your chest as you walked past her, abandoning the cup that held bitter liquid. You quickly walked towards her room, one foot falling over the other. You quickly shut the door behind you as you fell on the bed, your hands reaching up to rub your face.

“Maybe she’s not that bad?” You groaned to yourself as you rested your elbow over your eyes, causing your arm to block out the light. “Maybe she isn’t like those dicks,” you mumbled to no one in particular as you held let out a deep exhale. “But, what if she is?” You asked yourself as you let a frustrated fist hit the mattress. “Maybe, just maybe, she’s like Mutie,” you whispered.

“Mutie?” You heard a male speak. You moved your arm up just enough to see two large men in the room. You registered them as Bucky and Steve.

“What do you want?” you grumbled as you placed your arm back over your eyes.

“Bucky told me that he wanted to know if you were okay and Natasha said we could come talk to you,” Steve responded as you heard let out a slight laugh. “May we come in?” He asked.

“Go for it,” you shrugged lightly as you heard the shuffle of feet, the pulling of chairs could be heard against the carpet. A slight cough echoed in the room as the tension grew. “What do you wanna talk about?” You asked. “Boys? Oh, what about who you’re going to ask to prom!” you exclaimed, showing your sarcastic side. “I do hope that James asks me to be his date!” You let out an exaggerated sigh as the men quickly picked up on your annoyance.

“Are you alright?” Steve asked, worry lacing in his voice. You quickly rose, startling both men.

“I’m just fucking peachy,” you growled as you stared at the men sitting in front of you. You glanced towards the door to see that it was shut. You quickly got up, moving towards the door, you pushed the lock. You could hear the protests of Steve, though Bucky just kept his mouth shut. “Shut up, Blondie, I’m pissed and I need to vent,” you grumbled. “Uninterrupted,” you added.

“Oh, alright,” Steve whispered as you turned to sit down on the bed. Your gaze fell on the men as you sat comfortably on the bed, your body moving to sit near the edge, your legs crossed, your knees resting on the side of your feet.

“If you repeat this anyone, _especially_ Natasha, just know, it only takes one slice to cut your jugular,” you growled. Steve and Bucky gave a slight side-glance towards each other as they nodded. “I know you both know that I have a problem with mutants,” again they both nodded. “I don’t fucking like them, for the eight years I was gone, five of them I spent with mutants. They took me when I was sixteen, Natasha was out on a mission with whatever organization she worked for, I don’t remember the name,” you mumbled as your eyes fell to stare at the carpet, you could still practically feel the gaze of the green-eyed man on you.

“My mother was part of an organization that turned Natasha into the assassin she is today. Luckily, I wasn’t forced to be apart of it, my mother was kind of a bitch,” you laughed a bit. “After Nat’s graduation, I started talking to her, I said I was sorry for what they did to her and that I wished it had never happened. The next morning she left, and I was heartbroken. I remember thinking how hard it was to find someone in that hell of a place that was actually nice,” you let out a sigh before continuing. “My father helped me get to Russia, where I lived with Tasha for a year. We were inseparable for the short amount of time I spent with her. Then, the mutants came,” you practically hissed at the memory.

“They somehow found out where Nat and I lived, but they didn’t know who Tash was, they just knew that we were staying in an old, broken down building. When they took me, I remember being so scared, I was so scared that I would never see Natasha again,” your eyebrows furrowed slightly as you turned your gaze up at the men. “I didn’t know where we were or how we got there, but somehow, I was in a building, it was all sorts of fucked up, there were cracks in the walls, water leaking from the ceiling,” you paused for a moment, the memory of the water running down your (h/l) (h/c) hair, pushing down to fall down the side of your head running past your mind. “They kept me in a cell with a girl and her brother, Roone and Ritt. I still remember how nervous they looked when they saw me,” you could feel yourself grow numb at the thought of their pale brown eyes.

“Roone was the muscle, she looked strong, like they trained her everyday, but she always looked so scared. Ritt, well, he was the techie, he was never in the cell with Roone and I. Tobias was the leader, he seemed to like Ritt the most. I don’t know why, but he always treated Ritt the best,” you focused your gaze back on the carpet as the men just watched you. “Fucking Alec,” you hissed as you thought of the green-eyed man. “He was the one that took me away from Nat, him and his fucking mutant powers,” you growled at the thought of him. “He had this power to control people, that’s how he got us to do missions, a green halo-looking thing would be put over our heads and then we couldn’t control our own bodies,” you hissed.

“He’s made Roone and I hurt so many people,” you felt your hands fall to your hands as you leaned forward a bit, your eyes trying to scrub away the pain your memories caused you. You felt a hand reach your knee and pat a couple times, not caring who it was, you continued to talk, moving your hands away from your now red face. “I remember one mission, my first mission actually,” you huffed as Steve pulled his hand away from your knee. “On my first mission I killed a little girl and her grandfather. They were so helpless, I-” you tried to continue, swallowing hard, your voice eventually found itself.

“I shot them in the head, both of them,” you quickly pointed towards your forehead, your finger pressing hard against the middle of your skull. “Right fuckin’ here,” you growled at yourself as you could feel tears threatening to build in your eyes, though you pushed them down. “Tobias told me I did good after that, he said I was good soldier, and I now I was finally part of the family,” you shrugged as you glared down at the carpet. His voice echoed in your ears as you continued.

“That was only a month and a half after I was there, the next four and a half years consisted of me going on countless missions and hurting and killing countless people. I don’t even remember how many people I hurt, I don’t remember their face, or why the hell we were even there. How fucked up is that?” You growled at yourself once more as the water in your eyes caused your vision to blur. “I only remember their screams, the sound of their shrill voices,” your placed your hands on either side of your face as you glanced up at the men. Both of them were looking at you with concern written across their features.

“Then, S.H.I.E.L.D somehow found out where we were, the rest of the team bailed, I don’t know if Roone and Ritt were forced to go, or if they wanted to go. I stayed behind, Tobias said they needed something to keep S.H.I.E.L.D off their asses. Of course I was the first to go, I was the last to come in,” you let out a dry laugh as you fell back on the mattress, your eyes dancing up to stare at the ceiling. “I was just sitting there, waiting for them to come kill me. Or, that’s what I thought they were going to do,” you spoke, a little bit louder now so you knew the men heard you. “And, if we’re being honest, I was glad. I thought, ‘finally, it’ll be over soon and I can escape this hell.’ but no, of course they didn’t shoot me. They fucking put me in jail for three years,” you grumbled as the tears escaped back into the rim of your eyes, your vision becoming clearer by the second.

“And now I’m here,” you let out a laugh as you sat up, you gave a smile as you thought about being back with Natasha. “Finally, I’m with Tash again, but now there’s a mutant here, and she’s probably the same as all the other mutants I’ve met. The only mutant I actually like is hours away from here, rotting in a cell. I don’t know his name, but I call him Mutie,” you mumbled as you turned to look up at the men, they were sitting quietly, their gaze never leaving you. “Fuck, I miss him,” you whispered as you sat up, moving across the bed towards the door, you slowly unlocked it. It felt good to let the pent up sadness off your chest, but now you more vulnerable than ever. They knew about your past, about your weakness for Natasha, about everything.

“Please, don’t tell Natasha,” you mumbled towards the men as they both nodded. You gave a light smile, though it showed no teeth.

“I think you should at least talk to Wanda,” you almost began to protest as the words began to fall out of Steve’s mouth. “Look, I get that she’s a mutant and you have a problem with them, but she’s kind of like you,” you let out a loud laugh.

“Don’t compare me to her,” you felt a bit of anger bubbling in your chest.

“She was a HYDRA experiment,” he answered coldly as you gave him a confused look.

“Did they make her kill people?” you asked as you turned towards the bed once more.

“No, they weren’t ready, or, they weren’t when we got there,” Steve responded, his blue eyes falling to glance at Bucky, his gaze was completely set on you.

“So, she didn’t hurt anyone?” you asked as you plopped down on the bed.

“No, they saved people,” Steve’s eyes casted towards your face as your eyebrows knitted together once more.

“You keep saying they,” you mumbled.

“She had a brother, Pietro, he died trying to save Clint and a little boy,” you nodded, sadness filling your heart. “Wanda was completely broken, they were twins. She said it felt like her heart was ripped in half,” Steve added his last sentence hidden under his breath, though it still found your ears. “She’s not like Tobias or Alec. She’s a good one, give her a chance,” you nodded as you stared down at your hands. Steve stood, as well as Bucky. Bucky gave you a reassuring nod, Steve placing his hand on your shoulder as you just gave them a small smile. They then pushed out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

You instantly fell on the back of the bed, your head hitting the mattress hard enough that it caused a small bounce of your skull against the bed. Your thoughts were racing with questions that no one could answer, not without talking to the one person you had felt and undesired dislike for. 

Wanda Maximoff.


End file.
